Relationship Goals

Create Your Shared Future With a Couples' Vision Board Party

 
couples vb
 

In our second year of being a couple, I sat down with my now-husband to create our first vision board

I let him know that it was important to me that we work towards marriage. I did not want to wait around for a ring, hoping that our relationship would lead to a commitment one day.

I wanted some level of certainty that he was planning, and I was not subtle about my expectations. 😊

He let me know that his health was incredibly important to him and that he wanted to make sure to always make room in the budget to eat well and exercise. 

Together, we wanted to create a simple, but enjoyable life where we did not feel deprived of the “finer” things.

We wanted to set aside money for trips and drinks with friends. We wanted to enjoy each other’s presence, spend time with family, and become a unit. 

This became our marching orders for the next year. 

We made every decision with this vision for the future in mind. 

By the end of that year, we’d traveled to Atlanta, Las Vegas, and Jamaica. We bought our first home near my family in Maryland.

He proposed in the way I’d imagined as a little girl - and we got married in an inexpensive-but-glamorous Las Vegas chapel.  

 
wedding 2.JPG
 

We created our happily ever after and watched it come true right before our eyes. 

If you’ve ever thought about making a couples’ vision board, my friend, it is SO worth taking the time. 

Sometimes you need a little push to get started, some inspiration, or maybe someone to hold you accountable. 

If that’s how you’re feeling, I highly recommend hosting a couple’s vision board party. 

In this post, I’ll show you how to do it, step by step.

What is a couples’ vision board party? 

A couples’ vision board party is an opportunity for couples to focus on their vision for the future together and to do the work with others who are also working towards their shared future. 

Why should you host one? 

It creates a special time to work on your goals as a couple. Time to ensure that you’re both ready to work towards goals that will lead to your dream life together.

A couples’ vision board party is also an opportunity to spend time with other couples and have some fun along the way.    

It’s an opportunity to align on goals with your significant other, without your children around.

A few to-dos before the party 


Send out invites in advance. 

Check out this post for a bit of inspiration for your vision board party invitations

Your guests may not be familiar with vision boards. Make sure to include some information for your guests about what a vision board party is.

You’ll want them to have time before the party to think about their goals. You may also want to ask them to bring magazines or photos for the board.

Plan your food and drinks. 

A party is always more fun with food and drinks, right? Delicious snacks and drinks are will ensure that growling stomachs don’t keep people from visualizing their fabulous couples’ goals. 

I’ve learned a few tips on vision board party food over the years. Such as BBQ wings aren’t a great choice since they’re so messy. You don’t want BBQ sauce on your vision board. Check out this post with a few more do’s and don’ts for party food.

Brainstorm a topic list for couples to consider discussing.  

If your guests aren’t already aligned on what their goals are, it will help to have a list of topics to help inspire ideas.

You could write them on a board or print them on cute paper. It can be as plain or fancy as you like as long as it gets the conversation going.

Here’s a short list to start with: Health and fitness goals, financial goals, travel bucket lists, spirituality, or career goals.

These topics are starting points for discussion on what each individual wants to achieve. That’s just as important as what they hope to achieve as a couple. Having clarity on individual goals will provide a baseline to help couples start blending their interests into couples’ goals.

Set ground rules for your party.  

It’s essential that you leave dream killers at the door!

Openness is the key to ensuring that both of you feel like you’ve been heard and understood, and to explore your future goals, as individuals and couples. 

During these conversations, accept your partner as they are and think about ways you can support them as they move through their journey. Similarly, advocate for your dreams, as well as changes you would like to make and let your partner know how to support you. 

Find paths to compromise so that each of you can build the vision board for the future of your combined dreams.

Have a discussion with your guests before you start in order to foster openness, honesty, and listening.

The Night of the Party

All of your hard work has led to this. It’s time to create your couples’ vision board with your special someone and allow your friends to do the same!

Have fun, and be sure to have everyone share what their visions are so you can celebrate their goals with them!

Working with your partner to create a couple’s vision board is a great way to build a deeper connection. It helps you align your goals and dreams, to put a focus on them, and to build on your future together.

Hosting a vision board party for other couples can be just what you need to get started, and it can lead to stronger bonds with your couple friends 😀 

What goals would you like to work on with your partner this year? Comment below.

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

  1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

  2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts

  3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!

Single Life Isn’t Boring: 5 Ways To Love Being Single

 
single life
 

So… How did that date go? 

It seems like such an easy (and potentially fun) question to ask your girlfriend, but in reality, it could bring up a lot of pain and uncertainty. 

For a very long time, I felt like a failed date was because I wasn’t good enough. I was being rejected. I was a person that no one wanted. 

When someone told me on our first date that they couldn’t do a second date with me because I didn’t want kids, I thought no one wants to date a single mom - I’ll never find anyone. 

When someone told me they were focused on their budding business to date. I thought maybe I’m not interesting, funny, or smart enough. 

I smiled on the surface, but deep down truly came to the realization that “there’s obviously something wrong and undateable about me. 

So, I decided to stop caring. 

If I’m undateable then… so be it. 

I’d stop going on dates hoping for it to lead anywhere (because I was very sure it wouldn’t). 

I stopped being “the nice girl” and I started making demands… because if you’re not going to ask me out again anyway, I might as well get what I want out of these first two dates. 

Sounds crazy, maybe even a bit mean, right?

But the reality is, I started showing up to dates as myself. 

And here is where we’ll begin the journey of creating your best single life.

Related Content: 7 Guilt-Free Ways To Stand Up For Yourself With Confidence

Why focus on enjoying single life? 

I know… you could be spending your time dating instead, right? 

Here’s the deal, you cannot rush the timing for when you’ll meet someone that you want to spend your time with. Also, you can’t control the feelings of the people that you spend time with during that time. 

Is it really time to accept single life? 

No… but it is time to embrace it! 

You don’t have to accept anything you don’t want to. But if you continue to look at being single as a negative then you’ll never get to the part where you enjoy every minute of it. 

When you’re single, you can date and enjoy time with several people. Each brings to the table their unique personalities, conversations, and experiences. You have the chance to discover what you truly love (and don’t love) about the people you date. 

You don’t have any obligations to anyone and can choose what you do with your time. 

You get more alone time to think, process your feelings, read and enjoy the activities you love. There’s a lot less compromising when you’re single :) 

How To Manifest Your Best Single Life

Like many other things, enjoying your single life always starts with your mindset. 

Practice Self Care

Taking care of yourself is the first step in loving yourself more than anyone else in this world. 

It shows that you prioritize yourself enough to make time for you and focus on you. Every time you do that, you build trust with your heart and mind that you’re capable of taking care of your needs. 

There are so many options when it comes to self-care, make sure you choose the ones that you truly enjoy.

It doesn’t have to be expensive either. It could be as simple as going for a walk, taking a bubble bath or dusting off your journal.

Or it could mean going all out for a spa day, massage, and a new outfit.

Do what fits your budget and your personality.

Make Your Space Your Own

Sometimes, you can enjoy your life more by making some simple changes to your living space. Design your home in a way that inspires you and gives you energy. 

I place my vision board in my office on the wall so I’ll see it out in front of me every single day.

Maybe it’s a fresh coat of paint in a couple of rooms or carving out a little meditation corner for yourself.

Whatever you choose, make sure it’s something that is YOU. And something that you’ll look forward to coming home to.

Revive Your Personal Passions

In a seemingly never-ending journey of finding “the one,” you may have de-prioritized what matters to you. 

Here’s what that looks like: 

I love singing (cooking, exercising, yoga, reading, etc.), but I don’t have time to. 

Instead, you spend your time in ways that you don’t enjoy like watching too much TV, scrolling social media, or trying out dating apps.

To enjoy your life (even while single) you have to do the things you enjoy. Prioritize them.

Be Open To Love (when it comes along)

Love can come in many shapes and sizes and sometimes our expectations about the future keep us from seeing it.

Maybe your love doesn’t come with the right look, size, social status or wealth. Open yourself to the opportunity of loving the right person at the right time. 

Let Go of the outcome in dating

One of the primary ways I began enjoying any type of dating was realizing that I’m here, at this moment, and I cannot spend it all worrying about tomorrow. If I’m worrying about whether you call me tomorrow, then I temper my sassy personality. 

Say sure to the restaurants and food you love. (I ended up at Italian restaurants even though I dislike most of them.) 

I’d cringe through the awkward kiss because you leaned in and I wanted to appease. I’d nod when I didn’t agree because I want an outcome - I’m not thinking about this present moment. 

I’m worried about being alone tomorrow… again. 

When you go out on dates, let go of the expectation that it should go well. Let go of the expectation of a call tomorrow. Understand that you also have needs and desires. You’re worthy of an amazing person that lights you up. 

And you won’t be able to notice that you’ve found them if you keep your head down.

How To Start Enjoying Your Single Life Today: 

  1. Journal all the activities that bring you joy and fill your soul. 

  2. Set a date on the calendar to pursue one of those activities

  3. Before your next date, say this out loud “no matter what happens tomorrow, I’m going to enjoy this present moment.”

The single life can be a fun and life-altering journey of self-discovery… if you let it be. Choose to appreciate this as a time of freedom, mental space, and lower complexity. Pursue your passions and allow love in when the time is right. 

xoxo

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

  1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

  2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts

  3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!

Seven Guilt Free Ways To Stand Up For Yourself With Confidence

 
not compromising
 

One of the first movie experiences I remember as a young girl was Deliver Us From Eva. It’s a silly movie where a strong, uncompromising woman terrorizes the men married to Eva’s sisters. (Seriously, if you haven’t seen it - it’s good!) 

In this movie, Eva would test food in restaurants and, often, she would give poor quality food low scores. The restaurant owners would ask her to give them time to fix the problem, without recording it... be more “compromising” they asked. 

And she would look them in the eye with fierce confidence and say, ”I wear it with a badge of honor and I’m in damn good company. Martin Luther King was uncompromising…”

As a person who’s always struggled with opening my mouth when I’m offended, I could only wish for that level of confidence when I felt offended or ashamed. 

In reality, I was the exact opposite. 

You see, I had this boyfriend (don’t we all) that made me feel like I lived to serve him… and compromising ME did exactly that. 

Take off of work so you can babysit the kids, Hunny. OK, I’d respond. 

Why are you only wearing sweatpants? You used to dress nice. OK, I’d respond. 

Why do I always have to come home to a dirty home? (Well, there are three kids in here I’d say in my head) Out of my mouth came “OK, I’ll do what I can.” 

This lead to a life of little ol’ me, waking up at 4 AM in the morning to clean the house before my boyfriend woke up, showering, making breakfast and putting on nice clothes so he would be…

Happy. 

But I’m going to be honest here. Becoming that yes woman broke my soul. I wished I could have been a little more uncompromising but I didn’t know how. 

I didn’t know how to be uncompromising and loved at the same time. 

I couldn’t stand up for myself, my wants and my needs without feeling guilty. 

Because of that, I constantly wondered… “how is this my life?”

Related Content: Why Every Struggle You Overcome Is A Gift

Why standing up for yourself is important? 

Standing up for yourself is what allows you to do the things that bring you joy and use your time creating the life you want.

When you don’t stand up for yourself, you allow your time and actions to be dictated by someone else. You give away that opportunity to live in alignment with your values.

Each time I gave in to a task, chore or activity that didn’t align with my values, I felt a little less like “me.” My nature is to achieve - I love to dive into a project and build things. In this relationship, I became a servant, following through on someone else’s needs. 

I dimmed my light. I disappointed myself with every “OK, Hunny” I uttered.

What makes standing up for yourself so darn hard? 

Let’s be honest, if it were easy to stand up for yourself, we’d all be doing it (and I wouldn’t have anything to write about). 

Standing up for yourself requires you ruffle some feathers and you have no idea how someone will react to you choosing yourself over their desires. 

They might think you’re selfish. They might get angry. They might tell you you’re crazy. 

And in your heart, you want to be helpful - especially if you love them. 

What are the real benefits of standing up for yourself? 

Let’s get one thing straight. When you stand up for yourself, you immediately reduce stress because you’ve made a decision that aligns with your values. You followed your gut and that makes you feel good! 

You boost your confidence in your ability to choose what’s right for you.

Finally, you’ll have more time and energy to dedicate to your own projects and the things that bring you joy because by being uncompromising you only add complexity to your life where you want to.

I didn’t get to experience any of those benefits in that relationship because I was not yet sure how. 

How To Stand Up For Yourself, Without Feeling Guilty 

Understand that you, too, have needs. 

Imagine someone asks you to babysit, but you really don’t want to. However, you babysit anyway because you want to help the people that you love to reach their goals. 

Babysitting for a day means that you don’t get to spend your day working towards your own goals. 

You’ve essentially traded your dream for someone else’s. Be kind to yourself and treat YOUR dreams as seriously as you do theirs.

Related Content: How to Rebuild Confidence After A Break Up

Ask for what you want in a way that feels good for you.

I’ve always had a problem saying no. However, it does feel good to me to offer something that does work for my time and my schedule. 

Let’s take the same example from earlier - babysitting so that someone can go to work. I have a rigorous routine that I only shift for big life events - birthdays anniversaries and such. I cannot babysit during the week because of my routine, but Saturdays are open for “family fun” days. 

If you want, I can bring your child along with our “family fun” days. That’s my time to dedicate to spend with loved ones. 

By offering something that feels good for you, you can honor your needs and still help out in a way that feels right.

Change the ask.

Sometimes there is a viable alternative to the ask that you can offer.

For example, my mom asked me to pick up my little sister and shuttle her 1 hour away from my house. It would’ve been a 2-hour time commitment for me. I didn’t want to do that, but also wanted to help. 

“Can I send an Uber for her?” I offered. 

By offering an alternative that I felt good about my mom gets what she wants (a ride for my little sister) while I get to keep my time. 

Set boundaries with loved ones. 

This can be tough, but so necessary. If you have a loved one who you always say yes to, it might be a bit of a transition when you start to set boundaries.

Decide ahead of time what you are and aren’t willing to do. Then speak your boundaries clearly. You don’t have to be mean or angry when you set your boundaries, just be matter of fact and to the point.

Stick to your boundaries. 

This is super important. Once you’ve set a boundary, you HAVE to stick to it. If you are wishy-washy, then the other person will know that they can talk you into whatever they want. And they won’t take you seriously when you set a real boundary.

Follow your gut

Very often you already know what you want to do and you actively choose to do something different. The more that you listen to your intuition, the better you’ll be at trusting yourself.

Don’t talk yourself into doing or accepting things that you know you’ll end up regretting.

Practice makes perfect.

The more you can stand up for yourself the better you’ll get at it. Start somewhere and keep trying. 

Even if you start somewhere small, like speaking up when your food isn’t what you ordered at a restaurant or telling a friend that you can’t make an event because you have other priorities that you need to focus on.

Build on the small things and soon enough you’ll be standing strong in the big things.

Action Items For Reader

  1. Write down the last three experiences you wished you were more uncompromising. 

  2. Re-write the ending to that story in a way that feels good. (Hint: Stand up for yourself!)

  3. Practice taking those actions in real life.

The moment you decide to stop compromising on your needs, you immediately start to build confidence in your ability to serve yourself. You give yourself the opportunity to trust that you’ll make the right decisions in each moment. You also strengthen your ability to choose yourself.

What is one thing that you will stop compromising on? 

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

  1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

  2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts

  3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.


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Chantl

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I'm passionate about vision boards and hosting vision board parties. Thrive Lounge is the ultimate resource for hosting high impact vision board parties and creating vision boards that work.


How To Create A Vision Board To Love Your Damn Self

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for more info.

 
self love vision board.png
 

After several years of terrible dates and a few kinda-dating-but-not-really situationships, I completely gave up on any hope of finding love.

I was 98% sure that the problem was me…

  • I was too sweet and nice girls aren’t taken seriously in relationships.

  • I was too driven and guys were obviously intimidated by me.

  • Guys just want to talk to me because I’m fun and positive, but they never really see a future with me. (Sad, right?)

I couldn’t help but to give up.

I truly believed that I’d just end up alone. I envisioned myself sitting on my couch with a glass of wine, watching Netflix, always longing for the next Girls Night Out where my married friends would swear my guy was out there and it was only a matter of time. (Yes, this is actually what I was thinking!)

I felt defeated by love… unworthy of love… unwanted.

Giving up was my way of convincing myself that being alone was my choice. In reality, I would’ve settled for anything at that point (and sometimes I did).

I needed to pull myself out of that slump and re-learn that I am a valuable human. I have a lot to contribute to anyone in my presence, whether it’s friends, family, acquaintances or love interests. I am enough.

Somewhere along the long, winding road of rejection I’d forgotten that.

That’s when I decided I’d create my vision board in a way that reflects self love.

What is A Self-Love Vision Board?

A vision board is a tool that helps people envision what they want out of their life. The goal is to manifest (or command that the universe deliver) the future that you want to achieve. You can create a vision board for love, money, relationships, career, education and any other area of your life that’s important to you.

Related Content: How to Create a Couples Vision Board

Related Content: How to Manifest Real Love with a Boyfriend Vision Board

A self love vision board specifically focuses on your ability to love yourself. This will include:

  • Tools you use for self care

  • Activities and people that bring you joy

  • Steps you take to release self-doubt, self-sabotage and limiting beliefs

  • Affirming quotes and images that represent your definition of loving yourself

Why Does A Self-Love Vision Board Work?

Your self love vision board is your tool to remind yourself that you’re worthy of love from yourself and that self-love is available to you 24/7, 365 days a year.

When I gave up on finding someone to love, I wasn’t giving up on love all together. Instead, I wanted to feel love; I didn’t want the feeling of anxiety around love.

I didn’t want to wonder if someone out there would discover me, be enamored by me and deem me worthy of love. I found myself lingering in limbo waiting for love to come to me.

The self love vision board gave me all the tools I needed to re-discover all of the things that make me happy as an individual. Through happiness, I re-discovered my ability to love myself.

How To Create Your Self-Love Vision Board

Creating your self love vision board requires you to ask yourself the tough questions and be honest with yourself about what you need to be happy with yourself.

What things make me happy that don’t cost any money?

What is that thing you can do without spending a dime and it immediately lifts your spirits and energizes you?

For example, I enjoy bubble baths by candle light and listening to jazz music, reading with tea in the mornings or spending time with my daughter playing video games.

In the last 7 days, what activities brought me joy?

When most people think about joy, their mind jumps to some extravagant moment: family trips, extended vacations, world travel. But the reality of your life is made up of the every day moments: going to the grocery store and heading to work.

Self love is about finding joy and love in your life in the every day. This question allows you to pinpoint the moments of your every day life where you find happiness and joy.

When can I schedule in more of these activities?

Happiness increases when the things that bring you joy and the way you spend your time are aligned. Can you schedule in more time for the things that make you happy on a daily, weekly or monthly basis?

What do I love about myself?

Self love can also come in the form of appreciation for your individual qualities. What makes you special or different? What is that thing only you do that makes you smile?

What are my 5 biggest accomplishments in the last year?

When you’re feeling insecure or that pain of not-enough-ness, it helps to remind yourself of the things that prove you’re an amazing human on this earth.

For example, when I fail at my day job, I feel insecure about my skills. However, I have a list of amazing things that I’ve done that reminds me that I’m not a terrible person who sucks at her job (I really do think that sometimes). I’m simply a human who made a mistake.

What is an affirmation I can use to strengthen my mindset when I feel fear?

Think about the reason you need self love in this moment of your life. Is there something you fear that’s giving you anxiety? If so, take account of all the negative feelings you have around love.

In my example, I was afraid that I wasn’t worthy of love and I’d end up alone.

To counteract that, I asked myself: “What would my life look like if I did end up alone?”

I would still kick ass at work. I would still build a supportive and powerful community around me. I would still enjoy my time with family and friends. 95% of my life would be exactly the same with or without a partner.

I started to use the affirmation “My life is meaningful with or without a partner. My happiness is not contingent upon finding love.”

This one affirmation helped me to release those fears and allowed me to fall in love with myself again.

Once you have the answers to these questions, it’s time to create your vision board.

  1. Gather all the materials you need to create a vision board: poster board, magazines, scissors, glue

  2. Page through the magazines to find the images and quotes that match your self-love goals

  3. Glue your selections onto your poster board

  4. When you finish you vision board, place it in a common area you’ll see it every day.

It’s time to take action. Make sure that you’re not just dreaming about caring for and loving yourself - you have to make the space to do it!

xoxo

Want To Start Planning Your Vision Board Party? 

  1. Download the FREE vision board party planning checklist.

  2. Craft your inspiring vision board workshop talk with our FREE High Impact Storytelling Journal Prompts

  3. Plan, promote & host your first (or next) professional & profitable vision board workshop with our signature course, Sold Out Vision Board Parties.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Cyrene is a fun and accomplished workshop facilitator, learning and development guru and Human Resources professional. Being at the helm of Thrive Lounge has been a long-time dream. Through vision board workshops she plans to accomplish two-way learning. Sharing her vast years of knowledge to motivate and encourage others; while simultaneously getting the reward of great energy, ideas and questions to ponder back from each group. A super win-win. Please join our Thrive Lounge community so you too can benefit!